Reflective questions for parents in sport:

In the viewing spaces in Crumlin you may (or may not) have noticed that we have some questions for parents to think about and reflect on whilst watching sessions. Through this blog we will provide you with some context to support why we have selected these 6 questions.

Code of conduct or reflective questions:

Many youth sport clubs and organisations have had to put codes of conduct in place for parents as they have noticed specific behaviours and conversations that are detrimental to the kids and their sport experience.

This is not an approach we have chosen to take, however we have decided to focus more on encouraging parents to pause and reflect and make conscious decisions on how they approach their involvement in their child's sport.

Question 1: - Do you know your child's current goals in gym and what they are working towards?

• Chat with your child and ask them what they are working on in the gym at the moment. This will help you to understand their goals and focus.

• If they say they 'don't know' that is fine, often it doesn't mean they don't know, they may just be struggling to remember or may not know how to articulate it to you.

• As you have these conversations it's also important not to slip in to comparisons with other individuals and their goals. If your child does raise these things then bring their focus back to their goals and their journey.

Question 2: - How are you feeling today? How might that affect how you view your child's session?

• All of us carry the emotions of the day (or week) with us whichever environment we walk in too.

• If you are watching your child's session, remember that the lens that you watch it through will be influenced by how you are feeling.

• If you are frustrated from issues at work you may be more inclined to view the session negatively. If your child hasn't been doing as they are told at home you may have a bias towards noticing the same things in there session. Or if you are calm and relaxed then you may be more inclined to notice the positives in what they are doing.

Question 3: - How much of your child's session are you going to watch today? What is your purpose or reason for watching / not watching?

• This will be influenced by whether or not your child would like you to watch, your personal commitments / time available and also the number of hours that your child trains.

• The key here is balance, (especially if your child does multiple sessions). Being there for your child is obviously important. However, it is also important to help them cope with times when you aren't there (as you may hit a stage when you are unable to come).

• Whichever decision you make, be clear on your reason why / purpose.

Question 4: - Is your child celebrating with others as they achieve their goals?

• One thing we have already mentioned is the focus on your child's goals.

• In relation to this it is also important to pick up on whether or not they connect with other children to celebrate each others achievements.

• This shows us that they are less likely to slip in to a consistent focus on comparisons and not being good enough.

Question 5: - How is your child feeling today? How might that impact the way that they train?

• This links to the same points that we made on question 3.

• If your child is tired, going through things in school or facing other challenges you may notice that they aren't working as hard or seem a bit distracted. This is ok, be patient with them if they are going through these experiences. Sport and physical activity can be a great tool for them during these times.

• On the flip side, how they are feeling may impact whether or not they will do certain skills. As coaches and support staff we know there will be ups and downs in the skill learning process. It's really important that parents understand this too. Just because we have done a skill in one session, doesn't mean we will do it the next.

Question 6: - How does your child feel about you watching their session today?

• Your child's perspective may change on this one, so keep checking in with them so you work together to find the right options for you.